SEXUAL ABUSE
states; "An estimated 879,000 children were victims of abuse and neglect in 2000"
This one sentence is very powerful. This shows just how prevalent child abuse is.
There are many 'kinds' of child abuse, but just the same, simply, they are all child abuse. Child Lures: First in Prevention states the following few, these statistics are astonishing; "1.3 million children were sexually assaulted in 1995. Nearly 50% of all rape victims are under the age of 18. 29% of rape victims are 12-17 years old. 15% of rape victims are younger than 12"
"Child sexual abuse has been reported up to 80,000 times a year, but the number of unreported instances is far greater"
"The American Association of Pediatrics states that at least 1 out of 5 adult women and 1 out of 10 adult men report having been sexually abused in childhood. In 85% to 90% of the reported cases, the abuser in someone the child knows."
Stop it Now! states; "At least one in five girls and one in ten to twenty boys will be sexually abused at some point in their childhood"
An abused child will show certain behavior patterns, which, quite often, disrupt their's and those around them's lives.
Chicago Children's Advocacy Center states; "There are severe emotional and physical consequences of sexual abuse for children. Emotionally, children can experience withdrawal, post-traumatic stress disorder, and poor school performance, in addition to feelings of shame, distrust, and guilt."
Physical dangers cannot be ignored either. Chicago Children's Advocacy Center states; "Physically, children are at risk of severe cuts or tears, or sexually transmitted diseases, including gonorrhea, syphilis, or HIV. In addition, older girls are at risk of unwanted pregnancy."
People that may not understand the problems a adult child of abuse, may simply just not been through the experience. I believe, over the last few decades, more information is available for child abuse victims, people are more aware of it, and people are more apt to know someone who has been abused.
As a victim and survivor of physical, sexual and emotional abuse, I can state first hand, that there has been a life-long effect on me. I believe being abused, was the way my self esteem, confidence and confusion stemmed from. The way that I, and a many other survivors deal with this, turned to substances to escape these feelings. I went from food to heroin, cutting to sex. Being abused layed down a mind-set in me, that headed me towards negative behaviors. I am not saying being abused is the number one cause of addiction, but for me, it is one of the top three. The top three being; genetic make up, being abused, and being gay. Being abused has effected every part of my life. Child abuse effects a person, their whole lives, in many different areas, and at many different levels. Here is a few statements from a few sources;
"Adults who were sexually abused as children can be at greater risk for suicide, criminality, educational problems, and substance abuse."
"The long-term emotional and psychological damage of sexual abuse can be devastating to the child."
"Some sexually abused children become child abusers or prostitutes, or have other serious problems when they reach adulthood.
As a child, getting mixed messages from adults, can have drastic effects on a child's life.
Children of all ages are molested and abused on a daily basis. This is a very stressful experience for a child, or baby or teenager. Their mental state and emotional ability, are unable to process what has happened. "No child is psychologically prepared to cope with repeated sexual stimulation. Even a two or three year old, who cannot know the sexual activity is "wrong," will develop problems resulting from the inability to cope with the overstimulation." AACAP Facts For Families - Child Sexual Abuse
Being a child, you would like to trust adults, and then when someone does something abusive that makes you distrust adults, often times, shutting down emotionally, unable to learn and grow, from that point on. This is not to say there is no hope for anyone who has been abused. The main focus, I believe, should be the prevention of child abuse. I understand that we cannot monitor every child's life, but simple things like; not cutting school budgets, allowing more teachers in a classroom. A teacher may be a person who picks up on a child's behavior. I remember three different teachers who told me and my parents they were concerned about me, when the abuse was going on.
Unfortunately, our society still doesn't want to face issues 'straight-on'. We all are aware of abuse, we all hear about it on the news, on the radio, in the paper or in our personal lives.
By not educating ourselves, we may as well say we are "turning the other cheek". I remember measuring my abuse. Comparing mine with other's. I, like many other abused people, need to identify with others who have been abused. But comparing negatively can have negative effects. I know someone who was molested for about six years by her step-father. This situation is the one most known.
So I thought this was the worse kind, and felt mine wasn't as bad. I was a boy. To father negative comparisons, I was sexually abused someone of the opposite sex molested me, not someone of the same sex. People are more away of men molesting boys, than any other. Which is inaccurate. Most sexually abused, were females abused my heterosexual males.
It took me a few years to accept that my sexual abuse was 'real' or 'as bad as' my friends. Only then, did I really start my path into recovery. Someone who has been abused, has to realize that, it doesn't matter who abused them, or how they abused them. They were simply abused. Abuse is abuse. I can look over my life and see all the obvious 'signs' that I was a child being abused. The drop in grades, the drinking, the acting out and so on. In the 1960s to the 1980s, child abuse was a well-known problem. But than, and now, people don't want to 'get involved'.
I cannot blame them. What is it that they can do? Have a child sent into foster care, then having a fear of that child being abused more. It almost seems like a hopeless fight. This is why I say education is the most important way to stop child abuse. It has been said that 50% of all those abused, go on to be abusers. They may know no other way. They may raise their children the way they were raised. They may have surprised the memory of being abused, to just put the experience into the back of their heads and say "I'm over that". In my case, one adult who sexually abused me, I believe was sexually abused. This does not take the blame off the abuser, but enlightens me on why I was abused. The abuser can live their lives like many 'normal' people do. By saying this I mean how a 'normal' looking married man may be a transvestite, and noone, not even his wife knows. Or it could a 'normal' looking person who has a gambling problem. Whatever the secret it is, it still is a 'dirty little secret'.
There have been times in my life I have been, consciously, able to act without feeling, then remove myself from the situation and believe someone else did it and/or believe I was crazy and had a split personality or some sort of disease. This is what I believe happened, in my situation. Again, this is not taking the blame of any abuser, but I am helped by intellectualizing things, to a point. This helps me understand why. This also educates me, letting me 'break the circle' of abuse. If I know this information, chances are I will not repeat what was done to me.
The hope I have, for myself, is that I keep all I have learned in the forefront of my mind. To remember, but not dwell on what has happened. To keep educated on the subject of abuse, and to allow myself to continue my path of recovery. The hope I have for others, is that they can hold on, until they can get help. To not give up. What is happening is not your fault, and when you are able, you will be free from the person abusing you. There are therapists, specialists, books and a the internet to find helpful information to free yourself from an abuser.
Helpful Links
~ All descriptions and quotes come from the respected websites ~
Please be aware that there are some anti-gay child protection groups that spread hatred and inaccurate information about the correlation between child abuse and gay people. From the research I have done, there are far more heterosexual men that abuse female children then gay men that abuse male children. Along with this, far less male abuse survivors, who were assualted by females, report their experinces compared to female victims. Also sexual abuse, rape and assualt are not usually sexual but predatory in nature.
National Sexual Assault Hotline 1-800-656-4673
National Report Child Abuse Hotline (800) 422-4453
Describes signs and symptoms associated with sexual abuse in a child or adolescent/teen.
This foundation is a non-profit, voluntary organization dedicated to reducing the incidence and effects of violence by promoting development of healthy children and families and to providing scholarships that encourage personal growth through community involvement.
The Internet Nerve Center for professionals in the field of child abuse and neglect. Child maltreatment, physical abuse, psychological maltreatment, neglect, sexual abuse, and emotional abuse and neglect are our key areas of concern. We provide unique and powerful tools for all workers to support the identification, investigation, treatment, adjudication, and prevention of child abuse and neglect.
Information on keeping children safe from sexual abuse and abduction. Find general tips as well as resources for parents and schools.
An association of more than 900 public and private nonprofit agencies that assist more than 3.5 million abused and neglected children and their families each year with a range of services.
The mission of the foundation is to educate all, especially the young, about the occurrence and the consequence of violence in our society today.
Provides emotional support and financial assistance to the survivors of homicide victims.
Support page for survivors of abuse, includes articles and information, and an index of books and reviews to be found online.
MenWeb Surviving and Living - Male Childhood Sexual Abuse Survivors.
A national grassroots, chapter-based organization dedicated to preventing gun death and injury and supporting victims and survivors of gun trauma.
More than Conquerors is a Web site dedicated to the healing of victims of child molestation and sexual abuse. Learn about the signs, read online information.
Specialize in supporting adult survivors, parents of children who have been victimized and in the prevention of, being the next victims of a sexual predator.
Formerly the 'National Network of Children's Advocacy Centers', a nationwide not-for-profit membership organization whose mission is to promote and support communities in providing a coordinated investigation and comprehensive response to victims of severe child abuse. NCA accredited members are Children's Advocacy Centers.
Resources and support for males who have experienced sexual abuse.
332 South Michigan Ave., Suite 1600, Chicago, Illinois
Provides public awareness through events on the true costs of gun and domestic violence. Raises funds for organizations that fight gun and domestic violence through positive community programs.
Child Advocate and Health Care Consultant, Dr. Nancy Faulkner, advocates for the protection of children and prevention of child sexual abuse.
POMC® provides the ongoing emotional support needed to help parents and other survivors facilitate the reconstruction of a "new life" and to promote a healthy resolution.
The nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization. RAINN operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline and carries out programs to prevent sexual assault, help victims and ensure that rapists are brought to justice.
Offers resources as a starting point for educators, parents/guardians and youth.
Sexual Abuse Treatment. ... Parents must teach their children appropriate boundaries, education, and values, and also be aware of the signs of sexual abuse.
Because there is a way to prevent child sexual abuse.
Nonprofit organization helping to bring awareness to and aiding in the prevention and intervention of child sexual abuse.
Church Reform /Sexual Abuse
National Hotlines
AIDS: 1-800-342-2437
AIDS (Deaf): 1-800-243-7889
SIDA (Spanish): 1-800-344-7432
Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673
STDs: 1-800-227-8922
